Let’s Talk About Triggers: What They Are, Why They Happen, and How We Heal

When we hear the word trigger, it’s easy to think of it as just a “bad memory”—a moment that briefly brings up something unpleasant from the past. But for those who have experienced trauma, triggers are far more than mental discomfort. They can be overwhelming, disorienting, and deeply painful, causing emotional, physiological, and even behavioral responses that seem to come out of nowhere.

Let’s unpack what triggers really are, how they work in the brain and body, and most importantly—what healing can look like when we approach them with compassion and curiosity.

What Is a Trigger?

A trigger is any stimulus—internal or external—that activates a distressing memory or trauma response. Triggers often seem small or innocuous to others, but they hold profound meaning for trauma survivors.

They might be:

• A specific sound (like footsteps, yelling, or sirens)
• A smell (like cologne, cigarette smoke, or alcohol)
• A location (such as a certain house, street, or room)
• A phrase or tone of voice
• A facial expression, posture, or body language

Sometimes, the trigger is so subtle that the conscious mind doesn’t immediately register it—but the body reacts anyway.

This is because trauma lives not only in memory but in the nervous system. When we are triggered, our bodies may respond as though we are reliving the traumatic event in real-time, even if we know on a logical level that we are safe. This disconnection between what we know and what we feel is a hallmark of trauma.

The Brain and Body on Trauma

When we experience trauma, especially if it’s chronic or occurred in childhood, the brain adapts to survive. The amygdala (our fear center) becomes more alert, scanning constantly for danger. The prefrontal cortex (responsible for logic and decision-making) may go offline during stress. And the nervous system can swing into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn modes—long after the actual threat is gone.

This means that a current-day trigger might send the body into survival mode, even if the present situation is objectively safe.

For example:
A woman who was verbally abused as a child might find herself panicking when her partner raises his voice—even slightly. She may intellectually know he isn’t trying to hurt her, but her nervous system perceives danger, because it has learned that a raised voice equals threat.

Why Recognizing Triggers Is Empowering

Here’s the good news: becoming aware of your triggers is not a weakness—it’s a powerful act of self-awareness.

When we name what sets off our trauma responses, we begin to create space between the trigger and the reaction. Instead of going straight into survival mode, we can start to notice patterns, pause, and—eventually—choose how we respond.

This doesn’t mean that the trigger stops affecting you immediately. But over time, the goal isn’t to never be triggered. It’s to know what’s happening when you are—and to meet yourself there with kindness.

Grounding and Supportive Responses to Triggers

When you feel triggered, your first job is not to “fix it” or make it go away. It’s to support your nervous system and remind yourself that you’re safe now.

Here are a few gentle tools you can try:

🌬️ Grounding Techniques

• 5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
• Hold an object with texture (like a stone, fabric, or bracelet) to anchor you.
• Place your feet flat on the ground and feel the floor beneath you.

💗 Self-Compassion Statements

• “This is hard, and I’m doing my best.”
• “I’m allowed to feel what I feel.”
• “I’m safe in this moment.”

🧠 Co-regulation & Connection

• Reach out to a trusted friend or therapist.
• Pet an animal or listen to calming music.
• Use your breath to soothe your system—try slow, deep inhales and longer exhales.

🛑 Set Boundaries
If you know certain environments or conversations are likely to activate you, it’s okay to say no, leave, or take a pause.

The Healing Journey

Healing from trauma isn’t linear, and it doesn’t mean becoming “immune” to being triggered. Instead, it’s about developing the capacity to notice what’s happening within you—and to respond with care, rather than fear or shame.

You might not be able to control when a trigger shows up, but you can build a toolkit that helps you navigate it with greater ease over time.

Some people find it helpful to keep a “trigger journal,” noting when they feel activated, what happened, and how they coped. This can reveal patterns and show how much progress you’ve made—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

A Question to Reflect On

What triggers have you come to recognize in your own life—and how do you navigate them?

Whether you journal about it, share with a therapist, or simply reflect quietly, this awareness is a powerful step forward.

You are not broken. You are responding the way your body had to in order to survive. And now, you’re learning a new way—one rooted in safety, compassion, and healing.

You are not alone. Your healing is valid. And your triggers do not define you.